Consensual Pawsitivity: How To Greet A Dog With No Bark Or Bite By London Dog Photographer Amie Barron
I often get asked how I seem to establish an immediate bond with every dog I meet as a dog photographer in London. A lot of people have put this down to my “chilled vibe” or have said that I’m a dog whisperer (a term I feel we need to reclaim from you-know-who), but it’s easy to be someone a dog can trust if you introduce yourself to them the right way. I reached out to my favourite trainer, Diane Kasperowicz of Super Hounds Dog Training, for her input to bust some myths and ensure we’re all saying hello to our new potential dog friends the right way!
I fell asleep on the sofa with my dachshund a few years back. One minute I was somehow the little spoon; the next, I was rolling off the couch onto the floor, scrabbling in the dark for the light switch, wondering where 1. Oscar had bolted to after screaming out, and 2. If the wet dripping down my wrist would be blood like my half-awake brain thought it would be.
I found Oscar huddled in the corner of the room, looking incredibly upset and with a deep set of puncture wounds in the palm of my hand. And yep, there was blood.
After ensuring Oscar was okay without upsetting him, I got into an Uber and headed for a late-night trip to the hospital.
From the doctor who treated me, I received a tetanus shot, bandaging, and the advice that I should "have the dog that did that put down." He asked me if a German Shepherd did it and was shocked when I told him it was my sausage dog.
He told me again that I should have Oscar put to sleep and didn't care when I explained that it was not his fault that I had been bitten but my own.
You see, Oscar had a bad back, and he loved to cuddle. He slept in my bed, but I didn't intend to fall asleep with him in such a limited space. He was behind me, pressed between my back and the back of the sofa, sleeping peacefully until I had rolled over on top of him. When he yelped, his mouth had opened and clamped shut around my hand, and then he was gone, across the room and looking at me with eyes full of what seemed like regret at him hurting me!
The doctor didn't care about me rationalising my dog bite to him, so I went back home to ensure Oscar knew that I wasn't upset or badly hurt.
Diane says: All too often, when dog bites occur, it’s the dogs that are blamed for the incident. Most dog bites I see are as a direct result of a human’s actions or as a result of the dog being in pain and their human being unaware of this…
I work with dogs daily and have only been on the receiving end of one unprovoked bite. This happened when I was a child, and a neighbourhood dog that was trained to act aggressively was released from their home for a toilet break and off-leash, and I was unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully I was wearing a very thick coat, and even at that young age, I never blamed the dog, only the human who mistreated him.
Last week was National Dog Bite Prevention Week, and though I missed writing this during the week itself, it's always a good time to learn how to greet a dog in the best and safest manner. Trust me, I know they're cute, but they don't exist for our entertainment and should always be treated with respect and kindness.
Let's go through a few misconceptions people have about saying hello to dogs:
Photograph taken by Amie Barron at Chelsea Dog Day 2022. To learn more about portrait sessions or hiring Amie to photograph your event please click here.
A wagging tail equals a happy, friendly dog.
Yes, a wagging tail can mean that a dog is relaxed and happy. It can also mean that they're stressed, fearful, or overstimulated. This is the most common mistake people make about dog body language. It is better to read up about dogs and their body language and learn to judge their comfort levels based on factors other than their tails.
When meeting a new dog, put your hand out so they can sniff it.
I'm sure this is another thing we've all been told to do multiple times in our lives. With a dog's almost superhuman nose power, I'm pretty sure they can smell you without you shoving your hand in their face. This behaviour is quite threatening for many dogs, as is the same as you towering over them.
Dogs have up to 300 million scent receptors… they can smell you across a football pitch. Trust me, thrusting your hand in their face is not a polite greeting, it’s an invasive way of forcing your odour closer to a dog who already knows what you ‘smell’ like.
Dogs love being hugged and kissed.
Just like for me, being hugged can make a dog feel trapped. It would be best to let your dog initiate physical closeness, such as a gentle hug with you themselves. It is crucial to train your children not to smother and instead teach them the delicate art of petting and respecting boundaries. It is essential to respect growling and not punish it. This is an important way dogs communicate their displeasure towards something, and punishing it will often lead to the dog learning to skip past the growling and instead escalate to something worse.
I always say ‘Face needs space’ and never pet around the head or face and always invite a dog over to you by getting on the floor and seeing if your dog ‘wants’ to interact with you. If not, leave them alone.
Our dogs want and need to meet every dog they see.
If I could change one thing that all dog owners did, it would be this. If you're walking your dog on the streets or even just on the leash, you do not need to force interaction upon every dog you come across. If I had a pound for every time I heard "my dog just wanted to say hello", I wouldn't be here writing this blog. I see your dog; I love your dog, literally the most adorable dog I've seen all day, potentially my life. Do I want your dog to meet mine while they're both on a leash next to a busy road? No, I do not, so please stop.
This is primarily in London. I want and teach my dog to ignore other dogs. I want my dog to interact and play with me. Socialising your dog is NOT about letting it say hello and play with every single dog it sees…
The misconception here is that letting your dogs say hello to every dog they meet on the street teaches good socialisation. Instead, it often leads to leash reactivity and barking when you don't allow your dog to greet another they want to. Instead, train your dog to be calm around other dogs and to ignore them unless they are in a space where everyone involved has decided that they can say hello.
So how is it that I am every dog's best friend? Let me share some secrets with you:
Ignore the dog. You heard me. When I meet a dog and their parents for the first time, especially if it's for a photography session, I explain that I don't dislike their dogs in any way - trust me, on the inside, I'm gushing over how cute they are - but I don't know them, they don't know me, and I want them to see me as someone calm and trustworthy. I will not push their boundaries and only interact with them affectionately once they have communicated what they like.
Check with the human that greeting their dog is okay. One of the saddest things I've noticed is that dogs seem to have this inherent desire to please humans, regardless of their comfort levels. I have a lot of rescue dog friends, and I believe my knowledge of this and my recognition of dog body language is what makes our relationship so rewarding for us both. There have been many occasions I've witnessed where a dog has looked to be seeking physical affection from a stranger, almost as though it's more of a learned and expected behaviour because "that's what dogs do", but it had ended in a growl or lunge because their body language actually indicated stress and they didn't want to be touched. If in doubt, always ask.
Photograph was taken by Amie Barron at Chelsea Dog Day 2022. Please click here to learn more about portrait sessions or hiring Amie to photograph your event.
Don't stare at them. Eye contact can be interpreted as a threat if you're currently in the Stranger Danger zone.
If you have treats, ask if you can give the dog one. First, check for allergies and intolerances, and drop the treat onto the ground by the dog's mouth. Again, no thrusting hands into faces until you know that's okay!
If you're with a child and have been given consent to pet someone's dog, crouch or kneel to get lower and onto the dog's level. Do not loom over them.
If a dog initiates physical contact with you, stay calm! Let them push against your hand and guide you into petting them. Don't immediately reach to stroke over the top of their head. If you can, give them a gentle scratch beneath the chin.
Don't be thirsty! After petting a dog for a few moments, stop. If they move away, you have completed a successful interaction without making the dog uncomfortable. This should be enough. For this, you should feel good and know you have treated a dog respectfully and kindly. However, if they move into you and initiate more petting, well, that's amazing for you both! Continue becoming besties, but remember consent always comes first, so often stop and check the dog is happy to continue with the attention.
Trust me; there isn't a feeling in the world that rivals the joy of knowing that a dog loves you just as much as you love them on their terms. My little Theodore initiates "a cuddle" with me after every good walk, almost as if she's saying thank you. She's trained me now that when we come home, I lay down on the bed, and she climbs up onto me, puts her paws on either side of my head, lowers her body down onto my chest and nuzzles my neck with her head. She started doing this herself when she was younger, entirely out of nowhere on her own, and it has become something she does after every good walk. If it rains on our walk, I don't get my post-walk cuddle, and I'm entirely okay with that because the fact she can communicate such affection with me means more than anything else in the world.
Diane says: Our dogs are such incredibly intelligent creatures, and our lack of understanding and empathy for a dog's needs leaves me speechless on many occasions. When people first get a puppy, they invest in good food, sign up for a puppy class and then take their dog to the park and throw a ball around for an hour ( don’t even get me started on ball play..) I wish every owner/caregiver would do a course on canine body language. Giving our dogs space and allowing them the choice to come and say hello rather than forcing them. Understanding that not all dogs like or enjoy physical touch, understanding that a nervous dog may take the tasty treat you are offering but it may not make him ‘like’ you and understanding that dogs don’t actually want to spend lots of time bundling and play ‘fighting’ are valuable takeaways from this article.
Did you find this post helpful? Let’s talk about it over on Instagram or Facebook.
Diane Kasperowicz
Dog Trainer & Canine Behaviour Consultant
APDT 01250, IMDT 8013, PPG, Cert. TPTD
Diane is Director and Head Trainer at Super Hounds and has been working with dogs professionally for 13 years.
She is qualified and accredited by APDT, IMDT and PPG. She is an accredited agility instructor, Real Dog Yoga instructor, UK Snifferdogs Bronze and Silver Instructor and a Mantrailing UK Instructor.
As well as receiving referrals from Vets across SW London, Diane was hand selected by KONG as their female UK Ambassador in 2019. She is also author of the best seller “Beyond The Bowl”
Having previously run a successful dog walking company for 9 years, she is hugely experienced with many breeds and ages.
Diane has also trained her own dogs for film and television work and has presented at events and conferences around the UK.
To find out more about Diane and how she can help you, check out Super Hounds
Would you like me to photograph your dog or event?
Why not say hello and find out more about the magic we can create together:
